You have to let me go…
by msmoakqueen
Summary: When Diggle had told me that Felicity was getting ready leave I went to foundry to say bye before her departure...
1. Chapter 1

When Diggle had told me that Felicity was getting ready leave I went to foundry to say bye before her departure. She never mentioned the day, I only knew that she was going to help Barry with some problems he had. She didn't give more information and I didn't ask. Thou, I wanted to.  
When I entered, I saw her sitting in her chair, in front of the computers. It was reassuring to have her there.  
- Never thought to tell me something? – I asked  
- Oliver… - she said, turning around in that chair, looking at me as she was surprised to see me.  
- I didn't know you were leaving today. You really thought that I would let you go without a goodbye?  
- I thought to call you after – she said and the turn around so she could continue written something on a paper.  
- Nice to know  
- I'm writing everything you need to know about the system, so you can manage without me. I'm leaving everything activated so you won't have difficulties. I hope you won't blow it up!  
- Don't worry. We'll wait for you. Won't do anything before you return – I could see her sigh.  
- Oliver – she got up and made a few steps towards me – I'm not coming back.  
- Explain yourself!?  
- I don't tell you anything about today because I don't like saying goodbye – she paused – I wonted to avoid that… to say goodbye.  
- You can't go! We need you here!  
- I already told you that I was leaving everything functional so you can do it without me.  
- Nothing can be compared with YOUR work!  
- You can always call me if you have doubts.  
- Is it that necessary that you go?  
- He needs me  
- I need you!  
- You don't need me here…  
- I already told you once… I need you here!  
- That was before Roy – pause – before Sara…  
- Not one of them is capable to do what you do!  
We just stood there in silence, seamed like eternity. I honestly didn't know what to say so she would stay. I was loosing her! I was desperately looking for excuses.  
- We are a team! THE team arrow! And one of the reasons I can go out there is because I trust you.  
- Look, I talked to Barry and I want to help him. He's having difficulties and needs my help. Not only as a IT girl but as a friend, too.  
- I understand that but why do you have to leave forever?  
- Maybe it won't be forever but right now I NEED to go – she sounded so differently. She was serious. Not her normal self, no babbling …  
- Is there a problem?  
- No, but it will do me good to stay away from here.  
- And the reason for that is..?  
- Nothing to be worried about.  
- Nothing to be worried about?! You're leaving… and you're saying everything is OK? WHAT"S GOOING ON?!  
- Noth…  
- Don't say "nothing"! – I stopped her.  
- I'm not that important here  
- YES you are!  
- Let me speak. It's not that I don't like being here. I do. I love my computers and I love helping, but I only do THAT. I'm sitting here, in my chair while everybody else is out there. I don't know how to fight. And I'm the only one.  
- Hey – I got closer and put my hand on her shoulder – if we are out there it's thanks to you. No one can do you what you do! I don't like the way you feel about it, you know that your part is essential! It's not the same without you!  
- You'll manage without me…  
- No – I moved my hand off her shoulder but kept watching her directly – WE CAN'T!  
- You understand now why I didn't want to say goodbye, I knew you wouldn't make in easy!  
- Without you all this won't work! And there'll be a moment when we'll need more and only you will be able to fix it!  
- Well, I can work from Central city, if that's what bothers you. I'll activate another system there – another sigh  
- It's not the same!  
- Why?!  
- I need you 100% and here! With you head here, not helping Barry! What will happen if both of us need you at the same time?!  
- I don't know! Please don't make this harder then it already is! Call me if you have any doubts and I'll try to help you – she took her briefcase and was heading to the exit.  
- Fe-li-ci-ty! – I was right behind her – we haven't finished!  
- I'm already late. You have to let me go…  
- I don't want to!  
- Please! – she turned around and looked at me – you won't even notice that I'm not here…  
- Felicity, I don't want to loose you!  
- It's so ironic. You cannot loose something that you never had, though right now it doesn't make any sense.  
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Well, it's now or never. Moment of truth!  
- You CANT leave!  
- Why?  
- Because I love you!


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for the reviews. I didn't expect them, so I'll try to write the second and maybe even the third part. I know that I made grammatical errors, and a beta-reader will be highly appreciated as english is not my native language. I need to explain one more thing. This isn't the way I write fanfiction. With this one I wanted to "throw" a very simple scene that each person can read it like he/she wants. As I have intension to continue the story I'll write it like I usually do. I'm sorry again that my english is not perfect but I wanted to share a fic with people who don't speak spanish. I hope you'll take that in consideration and that you'll continue to read it. Thank you. "


	3. Chapter 3

Part II

We stood there just staring at each other. I needed her to say something as this silence was killing me. Even I didn't know WHY I said what I said. I was desperate and there was a part of me that didn't understand why. I never had time to think about my feelings, with all that was going on, on everyday basis.  
"What?" – she asked, and I remember to breath. This wasn't a plan. I shouldn't have said that but there was that other part of me that felt relived and content. I just realised that it was something I need to get of my chest without even knowing it was there. Everything was new and strange for me.  
"I have to go" – she said looking at her watch.  
"Wait!" – I grabbed her arm and stopped her.  
"I don't know what are you trying to do?" – she said, not even facing me.  
"I need you to stay" – she was leaving and I was standing there like an idiot, not knowing what to do, making it worst with every word.  
"You know what you need? – and then she turn around looking me directly in the eyes. – "you need to GROW UP. Not everything can be like you want it to be. You don't have to lie to make me stay. I'm not like other girls smitten by "Oliver Queen".  
I've never seen her like this, not even when she was refusing to be my secretary. There was annoyance in her voice.  
"Don't make it worse" – and she left!

I was standing there like a statue for quite some time, maybe with hope that she would change her mind and come back... but she didn't. I didn't know what made me more furious, that she left or that she left to be with Barry...  
I started my training hopefully to release the anger. It didn't work, it was getting worse! "I'm not like other girls smitten by "Oliver Queen"", I could hear her words again and again in my head. She was right, she was not like others! She was so different. I knew it from the first time I saw her. She couldn't stop babbling. I knew it when she told me that she saw me as a hero. She was the only one to tell me that. And she was the only one how would tall me everything no matter what! I always knew that there was this strange feeling that I never felt before – NEVER!

"Do you have any intension to stop in a near future?" – asked Diggle, who was there standing with Roy. They came in and I didn't notice it. I was lost in my thoughts. I looked at them and continue with the punching.  
"Who said that the rage had to be controlled? Oh yes... YOU DID! " – Roy and his sarcasm. I decided to ignore him.  
"Could you give us a moment?" – I heard Diggle telling Roy in a nice way to leave. Roy didn't mine and he just left.  
"Well, now you tell me what's going on here? You look like possessed."  
"She's gone….just like that...for good!" – that was all I manage to say.  
"Felicity?" – he asked like it wasn't obvious. – "I knew you wouldn't like it ... but, what happened?"  
"What happened?! I lost her for being an idiot! That happened! Why I didn't realise it before?!" – I left the hammer on the tire. I haven't realised that I was giving punches for over an hour. 'I did everything to make her stay and it wasn't enough."  
"What did you do?" – Diggle was making his "analytic/preaching pose" crossing his arms.  
"I told her that I loved her. No idea why, like an idiot, but I did it."  
"And how did she respond?"  
"You need to GROW UP. Not everything can be like you want it to be. You don't have to lie to make me stay. I'm not like other girls smitten by "Oliver Queen", word by word! And then she left because I didn't know what to do! How could I know? I wasn't planning to tell her all that. And how I was expecting her to believe me if I don't believe it myself?

"Well, that's the problem… you're not capable to express your feelings. Since Felicity became a part of the group I've been noticing that something was going on between you two. It seams it was only me seeing things around here! You were so obvious but neither of you was capable to show your feelings."  
"I told her…"  
"Telling her that you love her under these circumstances is NOT showing your feelings! Do you love her?"  
For the fist time I asked myself that, too. Was it love or only a whim?  
"I don't know and that's driving me crazy!" - I reached for the hummer and started the punching again.  
"If you want to sort this thing out, let's talk."  
I stopped, looked at him waiting to hear another useful life lesson Diggle - style.  
" It's OK if you don't know if you love her, but at least tell me what do you feel when you see her?"  
I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath.  
"When I look at her, I feel this confidence that only she gives me. She gives me the strength to go out there, because I know she'll always find a solution, or at least do everything possible to find one. She is the only capable to tell me everything, even if I don't want to hear it and I cannot get angry because I know she's right. I look at her and I want to protect her, no matter what it takes. She's the only girl friend I ever had. She's the only one that makes me smile for real!"  
"OK" – Diggle interrupted me – you really DON'T know what love is…"  
"What?"  
"You're totally in love with her! And it's time you accept it!"  
"I don't want to! Because I cannot be with her!"  
"Why not?"  
"I don't want to put her in more danger than she already is...maybe it's better that she left..."  
"Oliver, you have to get over this fear, that doesn't let you see clearly. You're not on the island anymore. This is normal life, here the battles are different. You're capable to fight AGAINST the worst men of this city but you're not capable to fight FOR the woman you love? "  
"It's not that easy..."  
"Nobody says love is easy!"  
"She left and I lost her... it's too late for us. And I hate myself for that."  
"It's never too late... yes, she left, but who says it's forever?"

I haven't heard from Felicity for over a week now. It was a real torment that was killing me. I couldn't concentrate on anything else if it wasn't her and my feeling for her. I just had to do something. I needed her, only now realising how much! I decided to call her.  
"Oliver?" – she answered. I closed my eyes hearing her voice. I missed that voice.  
"I just wanted to know how you're doing..."  
"I'm fine. Is everything OK there?"  
"Yes, everything fine."  
"Fine..."  
"I also wanted to say I'm sorry... sorry for being such an idiot."  
"Oliver... I don't want to talk about that, so I'll just hang up, if you don't need anything else?"  
"Nothing else…"  
"Fine… bye" – and she hung up.  
For the fist time in my life I was ready to risk everything for my feelings. If she didn't want to talk on the phone she'll have to, face to face. I was finally ready to go and get back my "Wednesday girl".

**Hi, I'm there again! Thanks for the review and sorry for my english. **


End file.
